Obviously, I'm enjoying this season so far, however, we need to get all these peach holders in one room and let them work their magic because the start of this season has been slower than Kim Zolciak in her hypothetical scooter. Once the group finally gets back together to shoot some more group scenes, then this season will well and truly begin.
The New York Pride blue ball editing from last week turned out to be just as anticlimactic this time around. We saw NeNe say hi to Cynthia and then keep it moving. That was it. Really Bravo? Did we really need to wait a week just to see these two bitches greet each other? Nothing else happened at the pride parade apart from dozens of Bravolebrities making cameos, which I appreciated. They should've made an entire episode about the Bravo stars interacting at pride instead of just showing us small glimpses of everyone dancing around in their best rainbow attire on a moving float. We need a Bravo Pride special, we need a special of Andy Cohen's Baby Shower, and we need them now.
Kenya's husband still sucks, even when he's not on screen. Following him being a dismissive asshole last week and refusing to go on vacation with a nanny, Miss Twirl revealed she ended up going on her anniversary trip to Turks & Caicos with baby Brooklyn. And I mean just baby Brooklyn. Marc decided not to go after the two got into a giant fight where Mr. Daly was (allegedly) extremely abusive to Mrs. Daly. According to Kenya, her husband has an aggressive temper and will say cutting things to her whenever they're having a disagreement because he loves to fight, a quality Kenya Moore does not think they share. Luckily, the producers threw in a few flashbacks to remind us of Kenya's fighting ways. However, I see where she's coming from, it's one thing to fight with a bitchy costar but it's another to constantly be participating in a toxic relationship with your husband.
Everyone always wants to say Kenya has fake relationships and rents her men, however, she needs an Oscar if her tears were all an act. Nobody can fake an emotional breakdown like that and this relationship is just as real as Miss Twirl's hair. Allegedly. Kenya is a mother fucking queen and seeing her cry over her controlling husband genuinely hurt my soul. It's clear Marc is more interested in being a father than a husband because he won't be around Kenya unless the baby is there, even in the bedroom, which means these two haven't had sex in a very long time. Who wants to go on a vacation with a baby and not be able to go out at night? That's my idea of hell, not a peaceful holiday. If Marc doesn't even want to leave his baby with a nanny on vacation to have fun with his wife, then there's a serious problem. These are definitely grounds for divorce, because if Marc doesn't even want to be alone with his wife, then why would they stay married?
This is obviously an abusive relationship, and I don't mean physically. Kenya practically walks around on eggshells trying to avoid getting into a fight with her husband. She plays the role of the subservient Housewife who lets her husband treat her like shit because she's so desperate to keep up her idea of a happy family, even though she's empty on the inside. These two love their baby, but if their relationship is already this bad two years in and Marc doesn't want to do the work to fix it, then it is never going to get better. Kenya Moore Daly needs to leave his ass because the Shane Simpson of the South sucks more than an industrial-strength vacuum cleaner, but hopefully, she stays with him just long enough for her to take her pent up anger from this relationship out on the other women, like the all-star Housewife she is.
Porsha is still struggling with Dennis. Nothing has really changed but she's finally back at "work" and by work, I mean Dish Nation. Obviously, this woman's main paycheck is coming from Bravo, however, the producers have to pretend like her day job on the radio is the main reason she's getting up in the morning. I don't understand why everyone is pushing Porsha to stay with Mr. Hot Dog? Everyone she talks to from Kandi to her therapist, always insist she give it another chance for the sake of her child, but he cheated on her while she was pregnant, what's he going to do when her uterus is empty? The trust he broke is never going to be the same, and although they are back together in real-time, I give their relationship TWO YEARS at the most, because a leopard doesn't change their spots, and she's always going to be suspicious of him in the back of her mind for the rest of their life together.
Apart from Porsha and Kenya's crumbling relationships, we also got a surprise Dr. Jackie cameo while Kandi was visiting her surrogate for an ultrasound. I love a Bravo crossover, especially when it's in somebody's place of work because it's authentic, real and fun to watch. Who doesn't love it when Dr. Jackie makes a pop-up appearance in her work uniform? As much as I appreciated seeing the Married To Medicine star, I still can't find a fuck to give about Kandi's surrogate storyline. It's an important storyline for the show to follow, but that doesn't mean it's any less boring. How many times can we see Kandi talk about how weird the experience is while Todd stands in the background daydreaming of their sex dungeon adventures?
Back in New York, Marlo decided to get dinner with Cynthia and 52 Cynt happened to invite Eva along. Of course, it slipped Cynthia's mind to tell Eva that Marlo would also be attending the meal. When Marlo arrived, the pregnant Housewife decided to take her $178 worth of food and finish the rest of her meal at the bar because she doesn't want to be around everyone's favorite Over 40 Sugar Baby. It's literally Eva's job to film with these women, no matter how much she doesn't like them, so she should've sat her ass at the table and allowed Miss Marlo to run her mouth. End of story. Eva obviously ran away because she's scared of the tea that will be spilled from Marlo's mouth, which is just another reason why Eva Marcille does not deserve a peach. She's boring, dry, stale and not appealing at all. Eva isn't even important enough to hate, she's just a walking snoozefest, with a uterus that won't quit popping out babies.
I'm over the whole "I'm pregnant so I'm going to order everything on the menu schtick." It's exhausting. You're not eating for two, you're eating for one and a tiny jellybean, so order a salad and call it a day. Eva's abusive ordering has nothing to do with her pregnancy and everything to do with her bank account. Obviously, this woman is going to take advantage of her Bravo paid food and order as much as she can, so she can have leftovers to take back to her rented condo after filming is done. This woman just wants some free food, because we all know her couch cushions are emptier than Chateau Sheree. Everything Eva does has a sketchy, weird undertone to it, whether it's ordering an excessive amount of food on Bravo's credit card, lying about her finances, or forgetting her shade. Eva Marcille sucks and she's the only person weighing this franchise down. Can Bravo donate her peach to Marlo already?
Following Eva's anticlimactic walk off after Marlo emerged, she sat at the bar while the "friend of" talked to Cynthia about the NeNe situation. Marlo's obviously trying to play the peacemaker role this season now that she's a "mother of three", however, the peacemaker always ends up getting shot in the back, just ask Cynthia. Both sides always get annoyed about the peacemaker being in the middle and NeNe proved that this episode. After Marlo's meal with 52 Cynt, she met the Rich Bitch at a cute restaurant in Central Park which looked like it was featured in every New York rom-com ever made. NeNe is pissed after Cynthia called her toxic but... where's the lie? NeNe can't deal with criticism whatsoever, cuts people off at the drop of a hat and then suddenly acts like nothing happened two years later when she decides to be friends with them again. Isn't that the definition of toxic?
Both NeNe and Cynthia are mad at each other for interviews the other did about them, however, this is literally their job. They're supposed to answer questions about what's happening on the show in the press, so I'm confused why this is suddenly now an issue. Is anything they said in the media any different to what they said to each other at the reunion? All these interviews are just adding unnecessary fuel to the fire. Everything 52 Cynt said about the Rich Bitch is a fact, and NeNe's clap back interview was clearly out of anger over what Cynthia had previously said. When Marlo simply suggested NeNe apologize for her part in the drama, she got up from the table and literally ran away from her problems. NeNe Leakes can't ever take accountability for any of her actions and will shut down whenever she's forced to own her behavior. How can someone literally never see a fault in themself?
These two are only fighting because NeNe decided to be mad at Cynthia for Kenya showing up to her party. That is it, but somehow NeNe wants to pretend like her hands are clean in the situation. She's a bully, she's a mean girl and I'm over watching her annoying antics play out. NeNe Leakes only wants friends who climb up her ass and agree with everything she says because the minute they contradict her or say one thing she doesn't agree with, she flees faster than you can say BLOOP. What happened to that spiritual journey?
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sunday at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on our favourite Georgia peaches.