The Bravo producers are definitely running behind because they released The Real Housewives of Atlanta taglines without the actual video. What is in the water over there? However we can see that the Georgia peaches were rewarded with a new yellow themed opening after a fan posted a sneak peek of the intro looks. All the ladies outfits are stunning, but Eva looks like a baked potato, and in the worst way possible. However, Atlanta always has the best taglines, hands down.
Let's break these taglines down below!
NeNe Leakes: "I'm on a spiritual journey and still traveling first class"
Ugh. I am sick of seeing the Rich Bitch preach about being on a "spiritual journey" but continue to be a stubborn, jealous, angry human being and after 12 years in the game NeNe can definitely do better than this snooze of a tagline. Oh and nobody cares that she flies first class because without her Bravo paycheck, Linnethia would be in coach.
Kandi Burruss: "Don't check for me unless you got a check for me”
Would it be a Kandi tagline if it didn't involve money. Little Miss No Scrubs is the ultimate hustler (sorry Rinna) and is always on the lookout for another check. This tagline is fun and witty but Kandi has more potential than what she gave us. Could she at least try and sneak a rhyme or riddle in there?
Cynthia Bailey: “The only time that I look back is to see how far I've come”
Is this not the most 52 Cynt tagline ever? Everything about this SCREAMS friendship contract. Is it a little boring? Absolutely? But does it accurately describe her life? Fuck yeah. Cynthia is engaged and she doesn't give a quarter of a fuck about anything else, however, she could've at least tried to make her tagline a little funny.
Porsha Williams: “This phoenix has risen and I'm saying bye ashes!"
I AM DEAD. Porsha won. Porsha fucking won. This is everything a perfect tagline includes. A twist on an old saying, a reference to their upcoming storyline and an iconic quote. Porsha did this. Mrs. Hot Dog King came through and there's nothing I don't love about this. Porsha is a phoenix and she's not going anywhere near unmoisturized feet.
Eva Marcille: "I'm living my dreams not above my means"
Kill me now. I think I just fell asleep. Nobody cares about Eva. No one, and the fact that she is still holding a peach is more annoying than her tendency to deny her shade. Nobody cares about her finances, however, after last year's weird house storyline, you wouldn't have to be the Long Island Medium to predict that she's living above her means. Nice try.
Kenya Moore: “I was gone with the wind, but now I'm back and twice as fabulous"
Kenya and Porsha officially have the best taglines of the group. Period. End of story. I love a queen who can own her absence from the show but make her return dramatic and exciting, all while using an iconic quote to do so. When you think of Kenya Moore you think of wind, twirling and being fabulous and she is giving us exactly those vibes with this tagline.
Who's tagline is your favourite? Sound off in the comments!
The Real Housewives of Atlanta premieres November 3rd at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the Georgia peaches.