After three seasons of the same tired pink layout, The Real Housewives Of Potomac are back with fresh new intro shots that look like a pay rise. The white and gold theme definitely elevates this show and the fact that Monique is holding her baby bump instead of a champagne glass is so baller. This bitches are OFFICIALLY Housewives.
Let's break these taglines down below!
Gizelle Bryant: "I’m the baddest thing walking and the smartest one talking”
Ugh. This is sort of a step up from her tired “word on the street” bullshit, however, I’m not feeling it. How can Gizelle live in Potomac and think she has any kind of street cred happening? Choke someone with an umbrella, then we’ll talk.
Karen Huger: "You can try to tear me down but the Grand Dame never crumbles.”
Karen. Karen. Karen. This tagline is about as reliable as her wigs but I’m always here for a delusional Grand Dame reference when she’s across the freeway in her giant Great Falls estate. When are they going to change the name to The Real Housewives of the Greater Maryland area?
Monique Samuels: "I’ve traded in my umbrella. It’s all gold at the end of this rainbow”
Come on Monique. I'm here for the umbrella reference but it's WAY too wordy and by the time she gets to the end of her riddle I'm already checked out. Short and sweet is the best way to go, however, I'm here for the overall sentiment.
Robyn Dixon: "The shorter my hair, the shorter my patience”
No. No. No. Robyn can choke.
Ashley Darby: "Karma is a bitch, but luckily, I’m on her good side”
Since when was Ashley Darby and her 12 year old voice on the good side of anything? In a season where her husband is "wrongly accused" of grabbing some fat camera man booty, is this really the tagline she wants to go with?
Candiace Dillard: "Now that I’m marrying my prince, this sleeping beauty is woke!”
I love a fairytale inspired tagline but I'm confused, was Candiace asleep before she married her white husband with a brown dick? At least the bitch is now woke enough to threaten bitches at knife point...
Who's tagline is your favourite? Check out the video above and judge for yourself! Sound off in the comments!
The Real Housewives of Potomac premieres May 5th at 9/10c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the Maryland ladies..