RHOA Recap: Return Of NaeNae

January 28, 2019

NeNe has been almost sedated all season because nobody wants to fight with someone who's husband has cancer, so it took until she travelled over international waters with jet lag, fatigue, drama with her husband and someone taking her to task over a throwaway coment to finally get the old NaeNae we know and love back amongst the group. NeNe playing the role of the matriarch of the show is a natural fit but if she isn't fighting with anyone, she really isn't being the best NeNe she can be. 

 

Due to Gregg's cancer, everybody has climbed into the crevices of NeNe's asshole which left poor little Tanya to bear the brunt of NaeNae's rath after she questioned why she said she would marry someone else. This whole argument is more redundant and confusing than Shamari's place on the show. NeNe yelling at Tanya wasn't about Tanya, it's about Gregg. She's obviously stressed out from her husband's petty antics and was just a simmering pot waiting to boil over and thanks to Tanya getting offended by a comment no one remembered, NeNe's pot runneth the fuck over. 

 

Tanya is a great addition and one of my favourites this season, however, if she wants to stay around this group she needs to buck the fuck up. Any normal person would cry if NeNe Leakes berated them in public and the walls of that Tokyo restaurant are still probably vibrating from her "THE DOOR IS CLOSED" voice, however, if you are going to hold a peach, or apricot in Tanya's case, you need to be able to match her volume and through it straight back at the Rich Bitch. Crying in a Housewives argument is like a chihuahua hanging out with pit bulls and expecting not to get bit, it's unacceptable. NeNe losing her cool was a direct result of her tension with Gregg and Tanya was, unfortunately, the one she offloaded on. 

 

Following their blowup, Nene fled the scene and ran away back to the hotel through the streets of Tokyo, while the other ladies travelled on a bus for hours on end with Marlo and Eva fighting for a peach, and I guess Eva won? All season the "model" has been denying her shade behind people's backs and has been a total flop, so thankfully she finally exploded on Marlo and proved to us all that Eva The Diva is alive and well. Eva told Shamari she couldn't wear sneakers to the red light district which immediately struck a chord with Marlo who knew Eva, her hippie rags and Birkenstock shoes weren't telling someone else how to dress. 

 

90% of the fights this season have been about fashion, but what else do they have to fight about? For literal hours, Marlo and Eva went back and forth arguing about clothing and for some reason, Eva thought it was a good idea to bring up the fact that she spent $1200 on flip-flops. That's not fashionable, cool or even inspirational, it's just sad especially considering they looked like a dead smurf on her feet. If you're going to spend $1200 grand on your closet, why would it go towards flip-flops and ugly flip-flops at that? Eva's style is horrendous, she looks like a bohemian hippie who wacks on a flowy rag, some sad flat shoes and calls it an outfit and although Marlo may have had to give many oral favours to get her clothes, at least she had the sense to buy the right ones. 

 

Apart from Eva trying to put a hood voice on and act like she's about that life, the shade between the background characters was amazing. They covered everything from clothing, Marlo's childless life and raggedy wig, Eva's multiple children to different fathers, her plus size mama and even tobacco tainted breast milk. Only Marlo Hampton would find a way to shade someone's breast milk and what is up with her throwing "Yo Mamas" in this season? Has she been reading the Dr Heavenly handbook? Marlo and Eva's feud is the feud this show needs. It's light fun shade that's entertaining to watch and nobody's left crying in the corner or needing to be restrained, however, Marlo would definitely cut a bitch if she needed to. 

 

Following the bus fight, the ladies went back to the hotel to switch out their wigs, change into some sexy Japanese outfits and walk the streets of the red light district while Porsha stayed back and played the pregnancy card. She's three months in and barely even showing, why is she acting like the only person who's ever carried a child? Eva reminded us (again) that she's a model by walking the streets of Tokyo as if she was in a Vogue runway show, however, compared to Cynthia she looked like a baby horse learning to walk for the first time. The ladies sung karaoke to Xscape's Understanding, which I'm guessing was the only song they could get clearance to, however, it was an authentic sisterhood moment. 

 

As boring as this season has been, seeing the ladies fight and then come together to support each other less than twelve hours later is great to watch whether it's singing off-key karaoke or consoling Eva about her grandpa dying, however, the only thing I could think about as Eva was crying about her grandpa being taken off of his life support was that Marlo was right about her losing those ten pounds. She looks great but ten pounds never hurt anyone. Oh and RIP Lester or Chester or Smitty or whatever she said his name is. How can someone have so many aliases? In all seriousness, it's moments like this which build friendships and it truly was an authentic supportive moment which has been a swift change from the over the top, extra for the cameras scenes we've had this season. 

 

Telling the Real Housewives of Atlanta to be on time would be like telling a fish not to swim or asking Lindsay Lohan not to look like an ashtray. It's just impossible. If these women are known for anything aside from physical fights, ever-changing hairstyles or hilarious shade, it's their poor time management skills. Coloured People Time or CPT as it's known in the streets may fly in Atlanta but they don't fuck around with time in Tokyo, so NeNe and her robe were two minutes late for the bus and the travel guide hightailed it the fuck out of there leaving the Rich Bitch in the dust. NeNe's mood was already tittering over to her NaeNae side this entire trip but claiming she was "fine" with being left behind in a calm voice confirmed she was ready to blow and left all the women shaking.

 

NeNe's attitude sucks and obviously we have to give her a pass for everything she's dealing with from Gregg's cancer and his own shitty attitude but somebody needs to give her a stern talking to and tell her what the fuck time it is, however, we all know the Queen Bee of Atlanta can give shade all day long but can't take it in return, so good luck to the sorry soul who tries to put Mrs Leakes in her place. And NeNe didn't miss out anything except playing weird Japanese in a sad room and Kandi pushing around sushi on her plate. For a girl who loves food so much, Kandi was not feeling the raw fish or rice Japan was offering. Who knew she was such a fussy eater? Definitely not Porsha that's who. 

 

NeNe finally caught up with the group and Gregg fucking sucks. Fight the cancer, not your wife and be grateful for everything she's done instead of playing weird, bitchy phone games while she's working to support your ass in a different country. Tanya and NeNe also made up, which is a strong word. Tanya basically apologised for the situation while NeNe's face stayed stuck and said they were good, which definitely means they are not. NeNe is not the one to fuck with and Tanya needs the Rich Bitch to come to her instead of trying to have a conversation with someone who's already seconds from freaking the fuck out on a busboy for giving her the wrong fork.

 

This show is slowly but surely picking up and I hope they keep the momentum this season because these women really need their checks to keep coming.

 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sunday at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on our favourite Georgia peaches. 

 

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