This is going to be a short recap because although it was a thoroughly entertaining reunion with lots of content, like many reunions before them it remained stagnant and I'm too hot and bothered to get into the bitchy back and forth this episode was comprised of. Reunions are always hard to recap because there's lots of chatter but nothing really happens at the same time, D'Andra and LeeAnne still hate each other, Kameron still can't pronounce the word bull and Stephanie still remains the woke voice of reason of this franchise.
After starting the reunion off with a meditation circle and establishing that LeeAnne is an excellent shit talker the ladies were already to tear each other to shreds. Most of this episode just consisted of D'Andra and Brandi calling LeeAnne and Kameron liars and vice versa. Apparently, everybody is just lying their ass off according to both sides as nobody could actually agree on any truth amongst the group. Every discussion that was brought up turned into some kind of pissing match as someone would try and reveal a behind the scenes truth as the other side would brand them a liar. It's entertaining as fuck but it doesn't give me much to write about. Obviously, I'm #TeamLeeAnne. Always have been, always will be and D'Andra's overly aggressive behaviour at this reunion completely validated that. You're arguing about therapists, phones and who is the queen bee of this show, what's the need to get so heated?
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The first dispute of who is lying is when the ladies discussed D'Andra and LeeAnne's fight of who is the queen of the show which didn't even make it on camera but was a huge part of the reunion. LeeAnne claimed D'Andra said they wouldn't qualify to be a Housewives level show if it had not been for her which Cary seconded which made the two drinking buddies on the opposing sofa yell about her lying ways. In turn, D'Andra accused LeeAnne of saying it's her show and all storylines lead to LeeAnne Locken and I'm sorry to upset anyone, but don't they? Without her violent outbursts and tendency to threaten to kill her castmates when she doesn't know she's being filmed they wouldn't have any content, season one and season two revolved around everybody being "scared" of her and without that I'm not sure how we would even have a season three.
Most of the ladies have skated by until this point while LeeAnne's been the scapegoat for any and all problems, so if she wants to say she carries this show like a turtle on her back then let her. I think LeeAnne and D'Andra were both drunk and probably said versions of what they were being accused of but Brandi and Kameron aren't going to say anything to not 100% support the leader of their couch.
As a result of the former besties accusing each other of lying, D'Andra decided to expose a secret she's been keeping for two years about LeeAnne and revealed The Mouth of the South had told her Cary planned to fat shame her before she joined the show. Really? That was the secret Bravo was teasing all week? It's a pretty, weird and specific piece of information to just make up and I heard D'Andra say the exact same sentence on a podcast last year but wouldn't name which Housewife planned to fat shame her so I do believe her, however, Cary was pissed she would believe the lie considering she attended the Deuber wedding nine years ago to the day of the reunion taping. Did Cary really tape the reunion on her anniversary? The most interesting development to come from this episode was the underlying tension between Cary and D'Andra.
Dee's daughter obviously was practising getting angry at people in her mirror because was more aggressive than termites eating through a house. She was just mean in the most inauthentic way, I understand she wants to keep her place on the show and contribute some kind of drama to hopefully make a GIF-able moment but seeing her put on her big girl voice, get mad over any little comment anyone had to say about her and pretend to be Mama Dee for a day was tough to watch. And she's not fat, which is a key factor in being fat shamed. D'Andra kept dismissing Cary which caused the wife of The Roundup's most infamous customer to start screaming and giving us the show she needed to give us this entire season.
I really enjoyed Cary during this reunion. She was impartial, kept D'Andra's feet to the fire and exposed the origins of The Roundup rumour by saying it was started by her disgruntled florist which is both underwhelming and also the best development we could've hoped for. After her performance at the reunion I'm back on the Cary Deuber train and her feud with D'Andra is what I'm most looking forward to next season - if she's back because these streets have been talking...
There were plenty of other dumb fights which made for amazing TV, mostly at the hands of Kameron Westcott and her new nose. Apart from her inability to pronounce the word bull we learnt that she doesn't understand the adoption process, thought Stephanie joking about having a surrogate offended people with fertility issues and wanted to call AT&T to prove D'Andra did talk shit about both Cary and Brandi's business to her over text which I 1000% believe although, of course, D'Andra started screaming about her being a liar. Kam is so over the top and truly says some of the most stupid oneliners but you've just got to enjoy the shit show she gives us and laugh with her because if you psychoanalysis her behaviour instead of laughing at it you won't enjoy the conservative excellence of Kameron Westcott.
Brandi and D'Andra also accused LeeAnne of lying about seeing two therapists and wanted her to name their names to prove she was telling the truth. Holy shit, did this show really take a turn that now we are questioning whether people are in therapy or not? I'm not sure why LeeAnne would need to make up that she sees two therapists and I'm not sure why Brandi needs to know their names. There is zero trust there and arguing about therapy is just a bullshit surface fight to cover the fact that these two have never liked each other and never will. They could argue about the sky being blue or Brandi's pussy being a fire crotch.
Even if LeeAnne said two names they'll still probably accuse her of lying, however, I did appreciate Brandi throwing in a Tiffany reference because it's always nice to hear a past Housewives name thrown into a fight especially when she may or may have talked shit about her best friend to her worst enemy. If you don't remember and you probably don't, Tiffany was the model girl from season one who was married to the Keith Urban lookalike and I feel like we need her back just for one scene next season to discuss this fight.
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Everybody got accused of lying and to sum up the reunion, I think everybody told a fib every now and again to get through the reunion without looking like, well, a liar. In each instance, somebody I'm sure wasn't telling the truth because two sides can't have completely opposing views and have everybody be right but Kameron passive aggressively calling out D'Andra's boob falling out was my highlight of the episode.
LeeAnne was going well until she admitted to lying about recording Mama Dee to try and prove she was telling the truth. Although LeeAnne is a truthful and honest person that one admission completely invalidated everything else and gave Brandi and D'Andra the perfect ammunition they needed to call her a liar for the next three seasons with the certainty of a Bravo flashback to back them up.
Although we ended this reunion with everybody being called a liar, Stephanie stayed out of the drama but magically didn't get lost or end up being boring. This has been Stephanie's best season on the show and she may not be the most dramatic Housewife but she's definitely come into her own as the voice of reason of Dallas who holds everyone accountable, has shown us a deeper side to herself by opening up about her mental health struggle and completely becoming the undisputed fan favourite of this franchise. Stephanie had the third season that D'Andra wanted.
The Real Housewives of Dallas airs Wednesday at 10/9c on Bravo. Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the lone star ladies.