This season had a slow start after all the women tried to play it safe by avoiding the drama and being nice to each other's faces, however, once the shit started to get stirred in this group there was no stopping it. Season three will ultimately be remembered for the demise of LeeAnne and D'Andra's decade-long friendship, however, these Dallas women also gave us hilarious moments, epic one-liners, exotic vacations and a whole lot of society talk. This season had no hands but somehow it managed to be entertaining. Check out our season three ranking below:
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6. Cary Deuber
Apart from trying her hardest to make Mark look like an amazing father and husband after he was accused of being a frequent attendee of the Roundup glory hole, Cary didn’t do anything this season. Seeing her try and sell her husband to us on reality TV was rough but seeing the two canoodle in a freezing Copenhagen ocean was a dark moment in this show's history. The entire idea for the Copenhagen trip was one of the worst excuses we've ever seen for a vacation and her bone carrier storyline of telling everybody what was said behind their back made her look like a tacky bitch, especially when she only kept her loyalty to Brandi. Cary was all over the place this season and managed to blend into the background on many occasions, she's going to need LeeAnne to start talking shit about her husband's gay sex life to have any kind of relevance on this show.
5. Stephanie Hollman
Stephanie is the Bambi of this show and although she doesn't do much it's great to have her calming energy in this group. The difference between her and Cary is that Stephanie managed to have opinions and played a pivotal role in the relationships between everyone else in the group while Cary didn't seem to have anything to do. Apart from being in the middle of the two superpowers, LeeAnne and Brandi, Steph also opened up about her depression past and talked for the whole season about how she was scared for her husband to go to Harvard but he's still around. She also managed to get her hands dirty in the confusing Beaver Creek Baby Bashing saga but resolved it the next day and came out unscathed. This was a good season for Stephanie because she found her voice amongst the group and found a way to stay out of the drama but not be boring.
4. Kameron Westcott
People love to hate Kameron and at the beginning of the season she annoyed me more than a fork in a blender, however, after her unsolicited baby breakdown I finally felt like I was in on the joke. She's like a cartoon character and as annoying as it may be for other people to have interactions with her, she's hilarious to watch because she doesn't stop. Ever. She stood by LeeAnne all season long which was great because they both needed an alliance while she feuded with D'Andra after she told her rich bitch mother-in-law how the society girl picked up a bottle cap with her butt. Yep, that's what these women fight about in this show. Kam managed to stay out of the drama and didn't bring too much controversy but was effortlessly entertaining without knowing she's funny, it's like I'm watching Nicole Kidman play a stuffy Dallas socialite week after week but it's real life and really does talk like a robot with vocal fry.
3. D'Andra Simmons
Wow. After a stellar first season, D'Andra was a victim of the second season cure where she got her hands a little too dirty and took things a little too far for reality TV purposes. She made her feud with LeeAnne bigger than it needed to be and essentially threw a ten-year friendship away for a reality show. Their feud consisted of D'Andra being overly angry about LeeAnne's wedding in a weird way, crying about having no money, combating alcoholic allegations and drinking with Brandi while spreading anti-Locken propaganda in the process. D'Andra jumped on Brandi Redmond's red carpet and it's too late to turn back now. The demise of her friendship with LeeAnne didn't need to happen but D'Andra needed a storyline and trying to make LeeAnne choke someone was better than complaining about her business for the second season in a row. Her only redeeming factor was Mama Dee, who definitely deserves her star more than she does. I used to like D'Andra but this was a rough season, however, she did bring a lot to the table.
2. Brandi Redmond
The resident redhead and town drunk is the biggest villain on this show and while we all know how I feel about her underhanded ways, without her trying to provoke LeeAnne and take her down at all times we wouldn't have had a lot to work with this season. Brandi has always seen LeeAnne Locken as the villain and tried her hardest to continue to paint her in that light while everybody agreed she had changed, Brandi made bullshit drama out of the small nuggets she could with LeeAnne and somehow entered into a weird CloneGate phone situation which was unprecedented by Housewives standards. Seeing her complain about LeeAnne filming her naked was stupid and redundant considering Bravo cameras already captured her sunny side titties, however, she wanted drama and LeeAnne gave it to her. Apart from talking about the resident carny for an entire season she also adopted a baby and although I don't like Brandi Redmond, her adoption redeemed her just a little.
1. LeeAnne Locken
Is there anyone else who could take out the top spot? Yes, LeeAnne is my favourite RHOD but she's also the star of the show and driving force behind anything that happens in this group. Due to her newfound bowl banging ways and new calm approach to every situation LeeAnne didn't react the same way she did in the first two seasons even though she should have grabbed at least a weave of two this season. D'Andra and Brandi pushed LeeAnne into a corner for the entire season except she reframed from threatening to kill anyone, calling their husbands gay, getting her hands out or throwing glasses.
The most she did was accuse them of may or may not having drinking problems and while that may not be kosher it's a step down from her old ways and we aren't tuning into this show to see them sew. There's some people who were made for reality television and LeeAnne "They're Just Hands" Locken is one of those people, she may not have caused physical harm to anyone but she kept her cool and when you have two little girls wanting you to be a crazy bitch, that's the best thing to do.
Do you agree with our ranking? Sound off in the comments below!
The Real Housewives of Dallas airs Wednesday at 10/9c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our exclusive tea and shady recaps on the lonestar ladies.