There's nothing I love more in life than a cohesive reunion and a nice large side of greasy onions. Whoever designs the set and overall theme of Dallas reunions actually seems to try unlike many of the other Housewives cities, so I'm glad everybody got the memo to dress in their best shiny and shimmery attire to stand out against the dark set which is perfect for a season that has been darker than Snooki's vagina after a spray tan. Check out our ranking of the reunion looks below:
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6. Brandi Redmond
It's no secret Brandi is not my favourite Housewife. She's sneaky, conniving, evil and her fashion sense isn't much better. This over-the-top shiny dress not only belongs in a RuPaul's Drag Race competition but has also been worn by Gina on the recent RHOC reunion and Kandi Burruss on WWHL. If Brandi was going to find a bad dress for the reunion, could she at least find one that wasn't worn three times over? Her casual basic high pony isn't doing it for me and doesn't pair with the flamboyant dress. I'd say better luck next year but I really don't give a fuck.
5. Kameron Westcott
I can see what Kam was trying to do but she looks like a poodle. The swept over bangs are horrendous and her platinum blonde hair blending in with her pale skin only adds to the overall poodle vibe. Aside from the bad hair, her dress is stunning and of course stayed with her consistent pink theme, I could swear I used to have a Barbie with a dress exactly like this. It's smart, safe and a decent look but this isn't "onion rings" good.
4. D'Andra Simmons
D'Andra was the one Housewife at this reunion to break from wearing a coochie cutter dress and went for a sexy cigarette pant for this look. Although I don't agree with her behaviour for much of this season I do agree with this outfit, the gold is stunning, her hair is perfection and the sexy lingerie underneath compliments the suit. D'Andra looks like a New York pimp from the 70s and all she needs is a gun, a kilo of coke and a bevy of thirsty bitches to complete this look. Maybe she can hire Brandi to work for her?
3. LeeAnne Locken
The Mouth of the South looks effortlessly beautiful in this look, which is the best kind of beautiful you can be. This glittery gold dress is the perfect length, it fits her body well and her hair, makeup and jewellery compliment it beautifully. All season LeeAnne has got a lot of shit online for her Morticia-esque hair, however, she seems to have got her weave in check for this reunion because it looks healthy, light and the perfect amount of elegant mixed with a little slutty. She looks like a gay banana and I am here for it all day.
2. Cary Deuber
The wife of The Roundup's most infamous customer may have had an uneventful season trying to stay out of the drama but where she lacked in entertainment she made up for in how to slay at a reunion. Cary's hair is the perfect length and colour and although her dress has a lot going with the cold shoulder cutouts, frilly sleeves and shiny pattern it still manages to be simple. I can't even find anything snarky to say and if you're going to be boring on this show, you may as well have an amazing fashion sense, even though there's a 100% chance Mark dressed her for the occasion.
1. Stephanie Hollman
Stephanie always looks beautiful without even trying which I'm sure annoys all the other ladies. I know this look probably took hours to piece together but Steph manages to pull it off by looking like she rolled out of bed, put some foundation on and squeezed into this sexy number. Sorry to keep comparing all these women to dogs but her hair reminds me of a natural Golden Retriever's coat and her gold dress is the perfect fit with the high neck, long sleeves and coochie cutter length. I'm obsessed and Stephanie once again won another reunion without even trying.
The Real Housewives of Dallas airs Wednesday at 10/9c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our exclusive tea and shady recaps on the lonestar ladies.