Shade of the Week: Sex And The City 3

November 21, 2018

This is the most dramatic movie that was never made. 

 

Ever since the news of Sex And The City 3 was scrapped due to Kim Cattrall pulling out fans were divided on how to feel. Some wanted to replace her, some wanted to kill her off and the rest knew you can't have a SATC installment without Samantha Jones. Her high sex drive, positive outlook on everything and scene-stealing jokes made the show and who would want to watch any version of the SATC franchise without her? Even though Kim is the reason we aren't getting a third movie, I'm not mad about it. She's 60-years-old, fucking several guys on camera obviously isn't her thing anymore especially when she admittedly didn't have the best relationship with the other ladies off-camera. 

 

However, with this new information of what would've happened in the third film, now I wholeheartedly support Kim's decision. On a podcast recently, SJP revealed Mr Big was supposed to die of a heart attack in the shower at the beginning of the film and the remainder of the movie would've been about how Carrie moved on from the grief. Who the fuck wants to watch that? We had to spend season after season, movie after movie seeing her relationship struggles with Big and then they end the franchise by killing him off? No. No Sarah Jessica Parker. No. Now that I know the movie is dead and gone, I'm glad they never made it because it would've put a worse taste in my mouth than the second one did. And I didn't think that was possible. 

 

My favourite part of the series wasn't the men, but the friendships between the women and how they agreed to be each other's soulmates. They were one of the first shows on television that gave us a sisterhood and depicted female friendship in a real way and that's what they should've focused on instead of a Carrie-centric storyline. Carrie is the most annoying character on the show with her commitment issues, annoying scream, bad sex puns and even worse decision making skills. Carrie Bradshaw sucks and I'd rather see all the ladies having brunch at a coffee shop than seeing her cry about Mr Big dying. We already had to sit through her being a sad, whiny bitch in Mexico during the first movie and that was hard enough when it was just a breakup, can you imagine how annoying it would've been for an entire movie to focus around her grieving? No, ma'am. 

 

No wonder Kim Cattrall said no. This makes her decision to refuse to do a third movie so much clearer. She gets called to film a movie, where a girl she never liked will have the main storyline about her dead husband while she just has to run around in the background and play second fiddle. I wouldn't have done it either, unless I was in some kind of tax situation and needed the money, but there's always porn for that. The Kim Cattrall vs Sarah Jessica Parker feud is still subjective. Kim says she was mean to her while SJP acts like there was never any fighting and that she's "shocked" and "heartbroken" by her comments. 

 

Sarah Jessica seems like a sneaky mean girl who always tries to uphold her good girl image whereas Kim is a real bitch who has nothing to gain by calling her out. I think after 20 years Kim finally had enough of SJP always trying to play the martyr and with her iconic "I don't need your love and support at this tragic time Sarah Jessica Parker" post it ended their feud and any speculation of her returning for a third movie once and for all. I don't think there was any insane catfights or drama behind the scenes on SATC but Kim was ten years older than the girls and probably felt sneakily excluded from their friendship at times, we don't know what happens behind the scenes but I doubt Kim Cattrall is starting drama for the sake of it and even if she is, I'm glad she pulled out of the movie because it sounds terrible anyway. 

 

The most interesting characters were always Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha but Carrie just happened to have the main role, the show wouldn't have worked had it just revolved around Carrie Bradshaw and this third movie wouldn't have either. The show was always about sex and dating, and I suppose being a widow is another facet of that but why end the franchise on that note? We want sisterhood, we want fun, we want glamour, we want cosmos, we want Samantha making sex jokes while Charlotte has to cover her annoying daughter's ears. I'm still not over that little girl hiding Carrie's phone in that cupcake purse. I want to know what they are doing as friends in 2018, I want to hear the topical humour about the #MeToo movement and Kardashian jokes while the men take a back seat as we focus around the thing that was always at the core of the show: female friendship. 

 

Men can come and go but your friends are here forever and I guess a Mr Big death would've proved that, but it's too sad and SATC was never the place we went for sadness. It was a safe haven for casual sex jokes over brunch and exotic New York city parties, if I wanted to watch a show about melodramatic deaths I'd tune into Young And The Restless every day at noon. The saddest thing to happen during the show's run was Carrie dumping Aiden after she had already cheated on him, agreed to marry him and move into together. And her hair during season five was also pretty tragic. And also, who wants to see Mr Big in the shower at this age? That's not sad that's a horror movie.

 

It's official. The franchise is done. But let's drink our wine and enjoy the endless marathons until the end of time because it truly never gets old.

 

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