The Real Housewives of Orange County: Season 13 Cast Ranked!

November 19, 2018

Cast shakeups are supposed to rejuvenate Housewives shows and breathe new life into them, however, the newbies failed to make strong connections with the veterans and just acted as polite acquaintances. In this day and age of Housewives, it seems no one is willing to stir the pot and keep the show interesting and this season is a perfect example of that. While this season had its moments with the tres amigos, death threats, little bitches and the Jamacia trip, it wasn't the best we've seen from these OC Angels. Check out our season 13 ranking below:

 

RELATED: A Real Housewives Retrospective

 

6. Vicki Gunvalson

The OG of the OC and her latest face suck. Vicki has an inability to be honest, and never admits when she fucks up which is harder to watch than her relationship with Steve. Vicki started the season in a good place with everyone after that awkward three-way reunion hug and only feuded with Kelly when she broke girl code and continuously defended herself until she gave her usual forced Gunvalson apology to make the issue go away. She also tried her hardest to stay out of the drama this season by getting facelifts and having home cooked dinners with Steve. The only times I enjoyed Vicki was when she whooped it up in Mexico and Jamacia but then she ruined it by being boring and sober in front of her stale celery stick of a boyfriend. She's exhausting and although she's the longest standing Housewife of all time, it feels like her used by date is up and I'm ready to throw her out like bad milk.

 

5. Gina Kirschenheiter

Gina has great potential as a Housewife but her first season was lukewarm. The New York implant tried her hardest to make her accent her storyline and it just didn't work, you need a lot more than a weird accent to be a successful Housewife, especially when it sounds like she's from Minnesota instead of Long Island. Although she was opinionated she didn't really have any significant fights, she said a few pointed things at some dinners but no one really followed up on it, however, she did have a minor beef with Emily due to her Little Bitch of a husband and got into it with Tamra over a weird game of telephone. Apart from her confusing accent, Gina got divorced from her "best friend" for unknown reasons who we've never met, lives in LA five days a week, and also still has sex with her. Gina's unwillingness to open up about why her marriage ended didn't help her reality TV career and that sad casita just added insult to injury.

 

4. Emily Simpson

Emily was a producers dream with a juicy backstory of her Persian Mormon boss proposing to her on Google chat when they weren't even dating and her sister being the surrogate for all her children. Her storyline this season was having to defend her little bitch of a husband to the rest of the women who thought he was an angry, rude, judgmental little man. As annoying as Shane was he provided us with the bulk of content we had in a pretty flat season and was responsible for Emily threatening to kill another cast member, which is always good TV. Apart from feuding with Kelly over her little bitch and having her existence not being acknowledged by Shannon, Emily played it pretty safe this year, acted as the voice of reason amongst the group and also let us understand her on a deeper level by opening up about her mother's mental issues and her several miscarriages. She may not have contributed too much but she created a solid foundation to grow on.

 

3. Shannon Beador

The only thing worse than Shannon's behaviour this season was her sad low bun in Jamacia. Shannon's divorce was super juicy on one hand but also affected her entire mood and made her an unlikeable, unstable sour character for the latter part of the season. When the feng shui enthusiast wasn't putting a negative spin onto everything and complaining about her weight, Shannon was struggling to acknowledge the newbie's existence which never even amounted to a conflict, just a weird passive-aggressive hatred on Shannon's behalf. The only reason Shannon ranks so high is because like the inside of Shannon's brain, everything this season revolved around her and without her unstable selfish behaviour we would never have gotten the epic core four blow up in Jamacia, which was one of the only times this season where I felt I was actually watching OC Housewives. Apart from her friendship with Kelly, Shannon doesn't have too many other redeeming qualities and she walked around like a storm cloud was above her head all season, I've loved Shannon Beador for years now but her orange may have finally rotted.

 

2. Tamra Judge

Tamra, the renowned Telephone Queen of Bravo, is the only person actually trying to bring anything to the table. This season Tamra's storylines revolved around two people: her husband and Shannon. Oh, and her foot. Seeing her ride around on that sad little scooter was definitely one of the saving graces of this season and a souvenir from their drunken trip to Mexico. Eddie's heart issues were hard to watch and gave the show a very sombre feeling, especially considering they still haven't been resolved in real time. However, Tamra's husband's ailments gave us some entertainment to feel good about when it caused a rift in her co-dependant Single White Female friendship with Shannon which resulted in two Beador walk-offs, a fuck tonne of screaming and that epic Jamacia brawl. Tamra Judge knows how to make great TV, she's messy enough to fight with anyone and also sneakily instigates fights between other people through her crafty telephone skills, but we need everyone to actually play along next year so Tamra isn't driving this show on her own.

 

1. Kelly Dodd

This was Kelly Dodd's season. I've loved her since the moment she screeched "NO WONDER WHY YOU CHEATED ON YOUR WIFE" but who would've thought after Andy dubbed her as the most polarising Housewife ever that she'd became the fan favourite of the show. Everybody seems to love Kelly and it's because she hasn't put a step wrong this season, she was justified in all her actions, came out as the undisputed winner in her feud with Vicki and is just effortlessly entertaining. Seeing Kelly call out the Little Bitch was one of the best moments in Housewives history and was just another example of her being a voice of reason, in a weird way, even if her delivery was a little off.

 

Kelly's not only the fan favourite, voice of reason but the comedic relief as well. Fuck, she's basically the backbone behind this entire show. She won't start it but she'll definitely finish it. Kelly's storyline was being a cougar, dating her bench of guys and taking Jolie to soup kitchens, which was exactly what we needed from her, fuck, she even managed to be likeable even she was laughing at Jolie's musical theatre nerds. Kelly was a shining light in the dark cloud that was season thirteen and she's definitely the answer to the OC's problems.

 

Do you agree with our ranking? Sound off in the comments below!

 

The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Sunday at 9/8c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our exclusive tea and shady recaps on the first ladies of Bravo.

 

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