These peacholders know how to deliver a good tagline. The Real Housewives of Atlanta's latest season may not be as dramatic as the past but at least *most* of the taglines are on point this year. For Bravo's highest rated show these women are treated like the bald headed step child with their recycled and reused intro shots. It's distracting seeing each different girl have a different quality shot and the directions of the peaches are a hot mess. Ugh. In the words of the late Phaedra Parks: Fix It Jesus!
Let's break these taglines down below!
NeNe Leakes: "I am the glue for my wig and my family!”
Yes bitch! This was an A-grade tagline because it means 101 things. Obviously it's a nod towards Gregg's cancer struggle but also confronts her BUN moment from last season. As much as I'm living for this tagline, NeNe's delivery sounds like a first grader who's learning to read.
Cynthia Bailey: "I age like fine wine, and now, I am ready to chill.”
How much longer can 51 Cynt talk about her age for? She's over 50 and hot. I get it. We all get. Peter Thomas in Charlotte gets it. Cynthia needs to find a storyline that doesn't involve time and her pronunciation of the word chill gives ME chills.
Kandi Burruss: "I count my blessings -- and my checks!”
I like this tagline but Kandi is NEVER going to top last season's tagline when she basically snatched Phaedra's wig through the TV each week. I love a catchy tagline but this isn't legendary. Just as Cynthia needs to stop talking about her age, Kandi needs to do the same with money.
Eva Marcille: "I live a model life, now I’m ready to be a top wife.”
Okay? Cool. We all get it, she was on Top Model. Do we have to give her a fucking medal? I'm already sick of her wedding planning and I can't believe we have to sit through an entire season of her dumb wedding freakouts when we couldn've had Kenya Moore and her pregnancy. Ugh. Next.
Shamari DeVoe: “I may be an open book, but that does not mean I am easily read.”
I already don't like Shamari because she looks like she's going to be extra and I don't have the energy for that, but I do love this tagline. Double entendres are always great taglines and Shamari delivered, let's just hope she knows how to read some bitches.
Porsha Williams: "I took a left turn but now, things are just right.”
It took me three times to realise the point of the tagline was that she said left and right in the same sentence. Obviously she's talking about her pregnancy and engagement but are you telling me she couldn't think of anything better? Porsha always sucks in the tagline department but this is just tragic.
Who's tagline is your favourite? Check out the video above and judge for yourself! Sound off in the comments!
The Real Housewives of Atlanta premieres November 4th at 8/9c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the Georgia peaches.