If anything this show is getting worse as the episodes go on and not even a sneak peek of Khloe in labour can save this sinking reality TV ship. Even the producers know this show is boring when they have to throw in a two-minute trailer of what to expect from the rest of the season at the end of the episode that had basically no juicy content at all. Kim said she hated Tristan but she hates anyone without a makeup artist so what’s new?
When the majority of the episode revolves around Kendall and the family hairdresser pretending to be her “friend” you know they’ve officially run out of ideas. No one cares about Kendall, no one cares about her hairdresser and no one cares about them trying to find a work/life balance between travelling all over the world and being too busy to act like a tourist. You get paid millions of dollars to walk in a straight line in several different countries and we are supposed to feel bad? And why is the hairdresser featured on the show more than Rob and Kylie? That’s an issue and it’s even more of an issue that we spent at least half the episode watching this storyline and I can’t even remember her name.
I honestly can’t even recall what happened in this storyline, probably because I fast forwarded through any and all of the scenes but surely the producers and all the workers at E! have to know this is not fun to watch. Maybe they should use this as torture in North Korean death camps (RIP) because nobody with more than three brain cells wants to watch Kendall’s skinny ass complain about not having time to have fun. Maybe she should try working two shitty jobs while trying to support herself through school and sleep in a shoebox apartment every night and then complain about having no time to have any fun. The white privilege on this show is alive and well and it almost puts Kanye’s “slavery was a choice” statement into perspective considering he’s surrounded by this THOT family most of the time.
Back on US soil, the storylines weren’t doing much better. Scott still looks like Jesus and Kris Jenner isn’t being featured on this show nearly as much as she needs to be. We need Kris in at least 60% of any and all sceness on this show, even if she just inserts her mug in the background of the screen, I don’t care. Just seeing Kris and her latest face in the shot saves the episode. The show has declined so much this episode literally revolved around Kim and Kourtney bitching about a fight they had that wasn’t even on TV that neither was one was really mad about, we barely even saw a resolution to the fight. Basically, all we saw was the in-between of the fight which made up an entire storyline in this episode. I don’t know how anyone can watch this show and actually enjoy themselves. Is that humanly possible because I strongly doubt it.
To sum up a really drawn out boring fight, Scott stupidly said something along the lines of having a fourth kid to Kim, who then sent her family an email about it but (oops) kept Kourtney on the email chain and then sent a second email trying to make up for shit talking her sister. I can’t explain how little I care. First of all, Scott and Kourtney having a fourth child is the dumbest idea since Khloe decided to let Tristan fertilise her last remaining egg. They have both moved on with barely legal little kids which would make it super fucked if they just decided to have another kid with each other. Can you imagine you’re dating someone and they decide to have yet another child with their ex? That. Is. Fucked. Not only is it fucked for them but what about the children?
Your parents break up and then have one more baby together just because they made cute babies together in the past? At least this family is rich because those kids are going to need some serious therapy, I just hope Kourt doesn’t take them to her current therapist because she is ruining lives and causing most of the dumb drama we’ve seen this season. Apart from the fact that a fourth Scott and Kourtney baby would be more fucked up than a meth head on a Saturday night, what was the need for Kim to literally initiate an email just to talk about it. What did she think that would do? Would they sign a petition? Chip in for the IVF? I’m confused what a family email chain would do in regards to them having another baby and if this email was such a source of tension, couldn’t they have at least read it to us in their confessionals? These producers are off their game.
To make this dumb situation dumber, Kim and Kourtney had a fight about it which we didn’t even see and then spent the entire episode bitching about each other before they went to the snow together and Kim had a penny drop moment at the end of the episode where she realised she shouldn’t gossip. What the fuck. Is this a workplace harassment video you have to show to employees during training so that the company doesn’t get sued if they spread a rumour about another employee or Keeping Up With The Kardashians? It wasn't even gossip on Kim’s behalf it was just an odd email that didn’t even make sense.
This episode felt so long it was ridiculous, it felt like it took 87 years when in reality it was just a standard 43 minutes. The key to a good reality show is when it feels like it’s come and gone quicker than one of those fast burning cigarettes on Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion. They are supposed to leave you wanting more not relieved that the episode is finally over. The last dumb storyline I can recall in this episode was about Kanye being mad at Kim. I think? I don’t know, I was on the verge of sleeping during this entire episode. Due to Kim having to spread herself even thinner due to having three kids, Kanye decided to act like North and got jealous of her spending all her time with their children. Are we really supposed to believe that Kim spends this much time with her kids?
Once again this storyline consisted of Kim just talking about the fight and we never got to see any of her problems or the resolution with Kanye. Who the fuck just wants to sit through the in-between parts of a feud? I understand Kanye does his best to boycott reality TV cameras at any and all costs but if that’s the case then Kim shouldn’t be allowed to discuss their fights and waste our time if she isn’t prepared to actually film it for the show. They fought about bandaids and her Instagram feed and instead of Khloe agreeing that he is petty as fuck and needs to get over it, she gave Kim the advice to cater to his petty needs just to make him feel special. This is exactly why Khloe was cheated on.
Tristan is never going to value or respect her if she caters to his every need. He says jump and she’s already on the roof like fucking Spider-Man. You’ve got to stand up to your man and tell him he’s being stupid when it needs to be said. In the end, Kim stupidity followed Khloe’s advice bought him band-aids and other dumb shit to show Kanye that she cares before, so he might be the next Kardashian man to fuck THOTS on the internet. At least that could make this show slightly more juicy, but it really just needs to be cancelled.
Keeping Up With The Kardashians airs Sundays at 9/8c on E! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the first family of reality TV.