How have we gone ten seasons without this happening?
In honour of the third and final part of the The Real Housewives of New York City reunion airing tonight, I decided to discuss the possibility of what the cast could look like next season. Although this reunion was darker than the circles under Bethenny Frankel's eyes on her Instagram story, we are coming off the heels of possibly the best season yet and with the departure of Carole Radziwill who may or may not have been fired due to the Queen B's ego and pull at Bravo we need someone with even bigger shoes to snatch that golden apple out of her geriatric hands and I have the perfect addition: Dina Lohan.
Without Dina Manzo appearing on Jersey anymore we need another blonde headed Dina in the Housewives franchise and who better THAN this Dina who has seen and done it all. Before you all shoot down this idea because you either don't like her family or think she's an enabling fame whore, allow me to break down why Bravo needs to hire her right now.
In case you weren't alive or lived under a rock from 2008 - 2011, Dina is the mother of the infamous Lindsay Lohan. While her husband was in prison Dina hustled and became the first momager, making her daughter's career happen. After Lindsay's iconic rise for fame, Dina may or may not have allowed her thirsty tendencies to take over and partied and somewhat enabled her daughter's addiction. Was that the right thing to do? No. Does she have more than enough stories to tell? Fuck yes.
Lindsay is finally in a better place dancing around at her club in Mykonos for Dina to talk about her past and not make it such a dark topic given their dramatic mother/daughter history. And who don't want the inside scoop on one of the most famous families in show business. Lindsay has started to make her return to the spotlight and is filming her Vanderpump Rules style show of her beach club for MTV so why shouldn't Dina also be apart of her daughter's reemergence to the spotlight.
Aside from the Lohan mess she would bring, she's starred in her own reality show Living Lohan, so she already somewhat knows what it's like to be in front of the cameras and obviously isn't going to say no. If you haven't seen Living Lohan and you don't have a time machine to take you back to 2008, you need to watch it because it was the Lohan's attempt to try and have their own Kardashian-esque reality show which didn't work but was amazing to watch them trying especially when their house almost burnt down in the process. Plus a Lindsay and/or Ali Lohan walk on in the background would be hilarious.
Although her backstory is an obvious fit she theoretically fits into the group. She's close friends with Jill Zarin who we all know needs to return to the show. She claimed she wants to return as a friend next season and honestly, Bravo and Andy Cohen need to let go of their grudge and just bring her back because after Bobby's death she needs a hobby (hi Bethenny) and what's better than bringing her back to the Housewives?
If she returned as a friend then Dina could easily swoop in and hold her golden apple with the rest of them because she IS in that Upper East Side/ Hamptons circle as the other women claim to be, so running into Ramona, Sonja, Dorinda, Lu and even Tinsley at parties and charity events is already her life. And the fact that Ramona Singer refused to pose for a photo with her at a Hamptons party years ago is not only the most RHONY headline ever but yet another reason why we need Dina on this show.
According to Bravo history, she also delivered drama when she appeared on The Millionaire Matchmaker, which Jill Zarin managed to cameo in, and walked off the set like only Lindsay Lohan's mom could. And let's not forget when her ex-husband Michael Lohan was inadvertently involved in the iconic RHOA Wig Shift. See the Lohans are a background staple in Bravo history so why not continue that relationship by making Dina a Housewife? Imagine how epic it would be to see her utter this line whenever Bethenny or Dorinda piss her off next season:
Even more Bravo history, when Lindsay appeared on WWHL in 2014 she literally told Andy Cohen this:
"Jill Zarin has a message for you - she [said she] and my mom should do the New York housewives to bring the ratings back up again."
If we only we listened to Jill Zarin through the mouth of Lindsay Lohan.
Obviously it wasn't the right time for Jill to return then because she was secretly recording WWHL interviews and Andy has named and shamed her in nearly every one of his books but if cameoing for the last two seasons, making up with Bethenny, throwing Housewives luncheons every year, having Bobby's death be featured on the show and celebrities supporting her return on Twitter and WWHL isn't enough then I don't know what will bring Jill and her nasal voice back to New York. Although Andy obviously hates Jill with a passion, maybe his star pupil Bethenny can help persuade him of this decision.
Apart from all these glorious reasons, Dina also got arrested in 2013 for drunk driving and has her very own (very drunk) photo which has almost become a prerequisite for this group with Sonja, Tinsley and Luann already having their own run-ins with the law. This is just another reason why we need Dina on the show and she easily has the best drunk mugshot of all.
She's also perfect because she lacks just the right amount of self-awareness where she wouldn't be afraid to fight with the other girls and wouldn't go into filming trying to stay out of the drama or maintain her brand, and even if she did Dina is a producers dream because she's a vulnerable broken bird which would cause her to break down and cry without overthinking it for the cameras.
Plus if they added Denise Richards for some star power and PR in Beverly Hills then they have to add Dina Lohan in New York! The good thing about celebrities, especially ones with their own past reality shows, which both ladies have, is that we already know them, or feel that we do, so we don't have to waste time getting to know a new Housewife when we've already been privy to Dina's past for the last decade.
She's "rich," is already apart of that kind of social circle, is besties with Jill Zarin, has experience with reality with TV, is willing to do the show, lacks enough self awareness to provide us with entertainment, has a mugshot, could give us Lohan family walk-ons and has enough celebrity tea to sink a small ship. Tinsley has never even delivered us half these things in her two years on the show and I can't think of anyone else who I want to see anxiously holding that apple. If wanting Dina Lohan to become a Real Housewife is wrong, I don't wanna be right!
Thoughts? Sound off in the comments!