It's felt like 83 years since Bravo dropped the epic season three trailer for The Real Housewives of Dallas but these taglines are just a reminder the new season is just around the corner. Like Potomac, these ladies still have the same opening looks they've had since season one but if the drama is good and the show provides us with enough entertainment who cares if they are still in their same red and white uniform, at least it's patriotic with the blue background. This round of taglines seem like Tinsley Mortimer wrote most of them but they're are still a few gems in the bunch.
Let's break these hilarious taglines down below!
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Brandi Redmond: "This isn't my first rodeo, so I'm not taking your bull."
Is anyone else over the constant Texas references? At least the resident redhead managed to stray away from her cheerleader pattern but couldn't they have incorporated something to do with her adoption and the bull part seems like a copy of LeeAnne's season two tagline. Ugh. I'm not feeling this.
Stephanie Hollman: "Investing in drama is not in my budget."
Then why go on a reality show? I like Stephanie and her bubbly personality but I can't decide if this is the worst tagline ever or maybe the best. It's witty and original but it's just so dumb at the same time, I guess she's going to be out of the drama this season if this tagline is anything to go by.
Cary Deuber: "When life gets messy, just build another closet.”
Seriously, this is probably the only tagline worse than Tinsley's room service one. Building a closet due to your mess is the definition of a hoarder so unless we discover Cary is a secret hoarder with dead cats lost between her piles of clutter in that closet, I'm not interested.
D'Andra Simmons: "Running a family business is a job for one tough mother.”
Get it? Her mother runs the family business but it's supposed to say mother fucker. It's a stable tagline and definitely goes with her storyline which involves the drama between her mom and their business but I feel like my favourite Housewives newbie of 2017 can do better than this.
Kameron Westcott: "I've got heels that are higher than your standards.”
Much like the real life Elle Woods this tagline is so bad that it's good. After her comedic timing at the reunion last year I finally got Kam's ditzy and dull personality and I'm starting to like her. This is either throwing shade at another Housewife or to the entire fandom and I'm here for it.
LeeAnne Locken: "You don't mess with Texas and you don't mess with me.”
Of course the carny kid managed to have the best tagline once again. I don't know if it's the delivery with her southern accent or the fact that she's one of the only Housewives who can get away with referencing the name of her city in most of her taglines, but it works. I've been accused of favouriting Miss Locken before but she deserves credit where credit is due. LOVE LIVE QUEEN LEEANNE!
Who's tagline is your favourite? Check out the video above and judge for yourself! Sound off in the comments!
The Real Housewives of Dallas premieres August 15th at 9/8c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the lone star ladies.