Due to The Real Housewives of Potomac's rough etiquette obsessed debut, there has been a stigma around the newer Housewives franchises which makes Potomac and Dallas have to work twice as hard to deliver quality content for our eyes so they can keep their jobs and continue holding their cherry blossoms. In a year where the entire Housewives franchise has been on the decline, Potomac has been a guiding light and a constant source of entertainment, delivering it's best season yet with Karen's tax situation, Ashley's family mess, the Kyndall drama and that iconic umbrella incident. If you aren't watching Potomac you are missing out because unlike Karen's hairline, it is amazing.
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7. Charrisse Jackson
If Charrisse proved anything this season it's why she was exiled to a "friend" position. She didn't share any gossip about her divorce from the husband we never met and played a lot of behind the scenes games to try and be relevant this season. The only thing worse than being called out for sneakily trying to get Sherman's ex-wife onto the show is not owning it and blaming Monique for everything. All season Charrisse quietly weaselled her way out of any and all confrontation while flip-flopping between Mo and the Green-Eyed Bandits depending on who she was with. I like Mrs Jackson-Jordan and her Eeyore-inspired personality but she was not made for reality TV.
6. Robyn Dixon
Gizelle's sidekick is literally the human version of a yawn. Somehow Robyn had the most feuds this season and still managed to be the most boring cast member on the show with her continuing will-they-won't-they relationship with Juan, constant and annoying obsession with Karen's life and her weird beef with Monique which stemmed from a meme and ended with an umbrella to her throat. Robyn's eye-roll inducing behaviour is just too much to bear because she starts drama pretending she's coming from a good place while her oversensitive ass would make a storyline out of it if the same thing was done to her. Robyn sucks more than a pornstar at a sex convention and is easily the most replaceable...
5. Gizelle Bryant
Ugh. The lead Green-Eyed Bandit and her wannabe ghetto voice are easily the worst part of the show. Gizelle led the charge against Karen by questioning her taxes, marriage and living situation, calling Monique an alcoholic and shading Candiace all season when she only used the cameras to promote her book, makeup line and boyfriend Sherman, who ghosted her only a few episodes. This was followed by his thirsty ex-wife being brought around Bravo cameras but they never actually filmed together and the conversation turned to WHY Kyndall was brought around. The wannabe word on the street's favourite thing to do is shit on everyone else in the cast but then will hypocritically turn around and act attacked when the same is done to her. It's fucking exhausting and I'm not surprised Sherman disappeared.
4. Candiace Dillard
After going back and forth all season I've decided I like Candiace and her princess pageant ways. She showed us she was quick with her shade in her age based fight with Gizelle and Charrisse and I was fascinated by her white fiance's brown dick but she lost me when she started crying about being called a princess (when she was acting like a fucking princess) and then brought me back in when she told Ashley to suck a dick. While she's doesn't have as much life experience as the other girls I think she's a good fit but I'd rather see a deeper, more meaningful side if she returns next season rather than her ditzy thirty-something attitude.
3. Ashley Darby
Ashley went from being my favourite Maryland lady to giving me a migraine every time she speaks. She earned her titile of Little Miss Messy from day one but now it's just gone too far. The shade surrounding Karen's weird situation was fun at first but the pizza delivery just showcased how dedicated Ashley and the Green-Eyed Bandits are too fucking with Karen and the fact that she has crawled into the crevice of Robyn's asshole makes me feel like we're missing out on the vintage spring chicken Ashley of previous seasons. The alcoholic drama with Monique also did not do anything for Ashley's character. However, she beats out Gizelle & Robyn because her storyline involved the mess between her mom and geriatric kangaroo of a husband who DOES NOT want to have kids, instead of just focusing on Karen's wig.
2. Monique Samuels
Monique was the saving grace of season two with her ability to be open and real in a city where everyone is pretentious as fuck and her shade skills have only became more seasoned as time has gone on. Apart from her odd fight with Robyn about a meme, Monique also had to combat rumours she was an alcoholic because she enjoys drinking more than one glass thanks to Ashley and her messy mouth. The addict storyline has been way overused in Housewives land and I'm officially over it. She also may or may not have tried to fuck with Gizelle by bringing Kyndall onto the show which is a genius power play but kinda blew up in her face a bit when Eeyore fucked her over. Extra points for trying to choke out Robyn with her own umbrella, that's pretty iconic. Eh, even with her miss steps I'd rather watch Monique any day of the week over the Green-Eyed Bandits and their messy intern.
1. Karen Huger
What would this season have been without Karen? Season three will forever be known as the Grand Dame Deficit and her wig's season. Although Mrs Huger got constantly caught out for lying about her tax situation, marriage and suspect living situation if we didn't have Karen and her delusional, wig shifting ways we wouldn't have a show. She's a professional at throwing quick shade like her CONSTANTLY bringing up Ashley's geriatric kangaroo of a husband's Grinder fun in her vast array of bad wigs. Seriously, I don't know what's more strange her feud with her stylist or Siri.
Karen basically refuses to show her real life on camera and is always working up fake schemes with her friend (?) Matt to try and divert the story to another lie but the producers always catch her out. Yes, she's probably done worse things than anyone else this season but she's fucking funny to watch in the process and you can't have Potomac without their constant meme generator Karen Huger. I may be blocked on Twitter, but I'm forever obsessed with this walking contradiction in a wig.
Do you agree with our ranking? Sound off in the comments below!
The Real Housewives of Potomac airs Sunday at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our exclusive tea and shady recaps on the Maryland ladies.