Shade of the Week: Ariana Grande & Pete Davidson

June 13, 2018

This is more of a WTF of the week!

 

There have been some fast celebrity engagements over the years but I think these two literally take the potential wedding cake for getting engaged the quickest. Who knew that child star Ariana Grande and SNL comedian Pete Davidson would go together, but as sceptical as I am from the outside their relationship looks healthy and fun, but it has only been LESS THAN A MONTH! We haven't really spoken about them here at Good Tea, but when a celebrity needs a shading, they need a shading. 

 

On the 21st of May it was confirmed they were only “casually dating” and not even two weeks later on June 3rd, he was already getting tattoos of her all over his body. Although that sounds weird and way too soon, if you were dating one of the world’s biggest pop stars wouldn’t you want to keep the memory forever to have permanent bragging rights to your friends? And if things don’t work out he can just look at the memory or turn into a cute whale or something. After the tattoo mishegas the couple then (allegedly) got engaged on June 11. They haven’t even been together for a month and we are supposed to believe they want to spend the rest of their days together? That pussy must be like crack cocaine mixed with Disneyland if he’s ready to get tattoos and commit his life to it. 

 

This wouldn’t be such a shady situation if both stars weren’t previously in long-term relationships with OTHER people just a few weeks before they started “casually dating.” Wouldn’t you be pissed if you were his girlfriend and he breaks up with you, a week later you see him playing Harry Potter dress up with Ariana Grande and then a few weeks after that you hear they’re engaged after you tried to lock him down for years? I’m telling you there’s something in that bunny rabbit's vagina that’s got Pete addicted. Ariana better sleep with one eye open and a house full of security because that ex is going to come after her! If you are dating Ariana Grande then you've already won the breakup, no questions asked. 

 

Speaking of, he apparently spent almost $100K on the engagement ring. Holy fucking shit. I didn’t know SNL was paying that good or maybe he took out loans for that pussy, who knows. $100,000 would be a cute shopping day at Rodeo for Ariana but not so much for Pete. I think you only act this way when you are head over heels in love but he should get in quick and not sign a prenup because he would never have to work again if he got some Grande money.

 

I don’t think we’ll see these two walk down the aisle. Saying you want to marry someone and actually going through with it are two completely different things, it’s cute to ask the question but to actually exchange rings and sign a contract is a whole different ball game and I don’t know if these two people that have known each other for less than a few months have it in them. Either this will be a long engagement before they announce that they are “best friends but they can no longer be together” or we’ll see a shotgun wedding in Vegas on someone’s Instagram story with Elvis officiating. It's either going to be at any moment now or it's not going to happen.

 

I’m a firm believer in when you know, you know but I’m not sure if you can apply that philosophy to a relationship that has been around for less time than it takes for milk to expire, literally, I think I’ve had milk in my fridge longer than they’ve been together. Maybe I should clean out my fridge. I don’t want to be a hater and I want to congratulate this obviously happy couple but at the same time, I have to be a realist and throw someone major side eye at this odd hookup. He is obviously pussy whipped which is cute for the moment but I wonder how long it will be until he falls out of her honey pot's curse.

 

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