RHOP Recap: Hurricane Candiace

May 7, 2018

These Maryland ladies are bringing it this season and it doesn't look like their shady antics and petty one liners will be slowing down anytime soon, especially with their new primetime timeslot at 8 pm on Sunday. Every cast (even Robyn) brings there own special dynamic to the show and serves a purpose. Obviously, there is some kind of stigma around the newer Housewives shows but those are the shows which are delivering constant and fun drama while the older franchises are getting dried up and crusty. Potomac and Dallas are the future Y'all! 

 

Someone had the bright idea to film grown women run around in a cylinder of ice and attend cryotherapy, which isn't fun or exhilarating to watch. Little Miss Ashley and her fro decided they wanted to be Mother Teresa for a few days and announced her plan at cryotherapy to take a trip away and bring all seven of the ladies together, which shocked Charrisse because she realised the young pretty cheerleader was coming to snatch her cherry blossom. I like Mrs Jackson-(Maybe) Jordan but Candaice did snatch her place as a Housewife. Speaking of Charrise and her nasal voice, when the topic of Candiace's finances was brought up (again), she decided to throw more petty shade at the new girl and ask if her mom even bought her engagement ring. Yes, it was a passive aggressive joke but Gizelle, Charrisse and partially Robyn, all have a tendency to come hard at the new girls but get offended when the new girls go hard back at them.

 

At the cryotherapy Candaice and her weave sat still and contained the anger that was billowing out of her head after the passive aggressive moment but Monique (and some behind the scenes producers) definitely helped fuel the shady fire and got the newbie riled up about Charrisse's fun shade during a fashion day where the three spring chickens: Ashley, Monique & Candaice showed off their slim figures and popping bods. Can you imagine having the name Charrisse? Sure it may be fun to say but I've written it in six recaps now and I doesn't get any easier to type, neither does Candaice with her irregular spelling. 

 

After Monique got into a confusing crash caused by her falling asleep in her car due to an (alleged) martini binge, the ladies loaded into Ashley's camping fun bus that didn't come equipped with a strippers pole. If it doesn't have a pole is it even a fun bus? While aboard, a turnt Candiace and Charrisse started going at it again because the cheerleader decided to speak up about the shade that was thrown days earlier about her engagement ring and declared that Charrisse had a shady bitch moment. Miss Pageant should have clapped back at the comment when it first happened but obviously didn't feel some kind of way about it until others go in her ear. Of course, the demoted "friend" grabbed her opportunity for a fight and relevance and used it to suggest that Candiace was calling her a bitch? Ugh, I hate it when these Housewives take a sentence out of context and make it mean something they know it was never meant to. 

 

Shady comments ensued but all I could think was: who cares about where these women get their money? I don't understand the obsession with wealth and possessions amongst a group of women that have neither. Monique is obviously the most coin heavy Housewife (have you seen her house compared to the others?) so if she can stay out of other people's finances then everyone else should - especially Gizelle who's income is mainly derived from her Bravo paycheck and child support which comes from the congregation of her cheating ex. Stay out of other people's finances if you don't want yours talked. Wow, that was shady but I've had little sleep and I'm fresh out of fucks to give. 

 

Little Miss Ashley stepped up her game for this trip and gave the ladies actual nice houses to stay in because these boughy bitches would complain the entire time if they had to sleep on the floor with the bugs, especially Karen, which is surprising due to her days as a farm girl so you'd think she'd be used to it. The group commended Ashley on her travel accommodation skills compared to her house from their season one vacation, but I think these ladies should be thanking Bravo for giving them a bigger budget to splurge on a nice camping-not-camping trip. Obviously there was a hard-working Bravo PA who had to book the accommodation, but let's play along and believe that Ashley was up late scrolling through Trip Advisor looking for deals. 

 

Once the boughy group arrived at their destination, they loaded off the bus they had been fighting on and then were transported to another location where their fight continued over a boughy meal in a boughy house. Yes, boughy is the word of the day! Gizelle and her greens decided to get involved in Candaice and Charisse's fight because she believed that her nasal friend deserved an apology due to her central position in the group. The fuck? Charrisse is a friend and on the outskirts at best. The only thing that Cha Cha is at the centre of is the Sunday gang bangs at her house. No tea, no shade, Ashley brought it up at last year's reunion. Gizelle started yelling at Candaice to give Charrise an apology but Miss Pageant Queen held her own and clapped all the way back at the green-eyed bandit. I like Gizelle and her shady quips but she criticizes everyone else when her only talking points on the show is her overly promoted makeup line and Sherman's giant pecker. Candaice going up against both OGs at the dinner showed that she is a keeper and has a fire up inside her that can't be extinguished by any weave wearing heifer. 

 

If someone is yelling at you to apologise, the last thing you are gonna want to do is apologise. While the yelling and swearing between the three women was fun to watch, I'm more interested in Monique's involvement in the feud. Little Miss Ashley couldn't help but spill the tea that Mo wanted Candaice to come for her enemy Gizelle and not her friend Charrisse. Obviously, there were some behind the conversations between the women about using Candiace as ammunition against Gizelle. Shady behind the scenes tactics are a staple in the Housewives franchise but if Monique wants to create beef between the newbie and her enemy, while peacefully drinking tea in the background she's going to need to have a better confidant than Ashley and her messy hair who will expose her ass in a second. After this camping trip, I'm definitely #TeamSpringChicken and I can't wait for the bubbly young girls of the show to put the tired cougars into their well-deserved places. 

 

The Real Housewives of Potomac airs Sunday at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on these Maryland ladies.

 

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