RHOA Reunion Recap: Wig's Funeral

April 23, 2018

The entire third hour of the RHOA reunion was Kim Zolciak-Biermann's funeral. Ding Dong because the Wicked Bitch of the South is officially DEAD. All season long Wig's lips talked shit about every single cast member sitting on those couches and it finally caught up with, even her slave Sheree wasn't able to defend her, which just shows what a bad friend and flip-flopper Miss Wigfield really is. 

 

This entire instalment felt rushed and we definitely could of see the roasting spill into last week's episode instead of that dumb Eva segment. We picked up with Kim & NeNe yelling at each other, the same way they had done 10 years ago, except these time it consisted of The Rich Bitch repeatedly asking "WHERE IS YOUR SCOOTER?!" because according to her, Kim and her Wig should be riding along on a scooter due to her various health ailments.

 

Oddly enough Kim tried to throw shade at NeNe by saying that Gregg was married when they met, but it didn't take long for her to be reminded of her dancing days at Oasis, Big Poppa, and all the married dick that she's been sliding on for years. However, Kim cut the fight off because she's been married to her Uber driver for 7 years and said that it was "below the belt", EVEN THOUGH she initiated the entire fight! That is the problem with Wig. She starts a fight, realises she can't finish it and then plays the victim when she hypocritically did the same thing. That bitch needs to get on her scooter and ride off into the mother fucking sunset because the entire fandom has turned on her!

 

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During the course of this reunion NeNe, Kenya, Kandi and even Cynthia shaded Kim for filth and left her wannabe White Chicks face shaking. The only non-Kimcentric part of this reunion was when Sheree spilled the tea that she would leave Tyrone if he had to stay in prison for two more years and tried to use her prison boo say that NeNe stalked him but Mrs Leakes shut the lying convict's ass down. Once you've been indicted on charges of wire fraud, I think it's safe to say that you lose all credibility: they call him Lie-rone for a reason. Andy also asked if Tyrone's prison sentence was the reason that Chateau Sheree took so long to get built, but She by Sheree's shaky Bravo career is probably the reason for her inconsistent building project. Didn't you notice that when those Bravo checks cleared, the house magically got built? 

 

Apart from Sheree's minor appearance, the rest of the episode was just a glimpse into the pure delusion that is Kim Zolciak's life. First was her beef with Kenya, which was instigated by Wig when she continued to come for Twirl and her marriage, however when Kenya clapped back at Octomom for pimping out her daughter, then it's too far? Kim's rebuttals only consisted of claiming that she's friends with Chrissy Teigen, saying everyone was jealous of her and bragging about her families "success" which included her skincare line making $15million. Um, if she was that rich I can guarantee that she wouldn't have come back to RHOA for the check. That sentence was probably the most delusional thing to come out of her lips ever and this is Kim mother fucking Zolciak we are talking about.

 

Bravo provided us with receipt upon receipt of Kim blatantly denying something and then it being proved with a flashback. It was shown that she lied about: taking a photo of NeNe's handicapped car park, coming for Kenya's husband, saying she doesn't drink a lot, claiming that Kandi wanted to eat her box, taking the roach video, showing Sheree the roach video, saying that Cynthia wouldn't have gotten far in life if she didn't have a pretty face - and that's only what I remember. By the end of the reunion, Andy Fucking Cohen even grew tired of Wig's delusional and lying ways when he had to remind her that she said most of those things on camera which was then broadcasted on international TV! Once Andy came for Kim, she knew she was done. 

 

The Black Queens of the show really earned their peaches for next season when they ended Miss Privilege right then and there in the Biltmore Ballroom. Kenya jumped across onto the front of the other couch to try and get Wig's attention. That was a massive power play on Kenya's part because I don't think anyone has moved couches to try and get into the action. In all fairness, Twirl should have been at least in the centre of the sofa because placing her on the end was obviously shade on production's part. Kenya came, read, and did her job.

 

Kandi also ended Octomom and her puffy lips by roasting her for saying that she wanted to eat her box. Hasn't Kandi been accused of being a lesbian by enough people at this point? Kandi Koated Nights then turned around and yelled at Miss Joggers for never bringing the box eating bone back to tell her. No wonder Sheree was fired because as the bone carrier she couldn't do her fucking job. If you have a title and a job description then you need to stick to it, you can't be jumping around and changing your mind about when you will and will not stick to your LLC. I'm so confused how Wig alleged that Kandi had lesbian tendencies when she was the one who dated DJ Tracey on TV. Does someone need to remind her of her own box eating days? 

 

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Finally, we got to the epic feud that was NeNe & Kim's relationship. After a flash of their entire history, both women made it very clear that the door to the friendship was locked and the key had been thrown away along with Tyrone's. Kim's delusional mind couldn't comprehend the fact that her roach video could be considered racist and blamed her possibly racist actions on being the only white girl amongst black women. Um, no. Even if Kim and her party city wigs didn't leak the roach video with racist intent, the bitch should still understand WHY it may be viewed that way. After she walked off the set with her solo cup in hand Andy gave the ladies roses to conclude the day and all the peaches went back to their dressing rooms to de-wig and relax after they had successfully snatched every last strand of hair from Kim's ugly head. 

 

However, Mr Cohen's job wasn't done when he got called into the bathroom to talk to Kim her lips who was crying with her Uber driver. First of all, she blamed social media for making racism real... Wow, has the bitch never heard of the 50s or 60s, or every decade, ever? Not only did she drop that dumb comment that will stay with her forever, but she complained about not even being asked a single positive question and Andy Cohen had to remind her that was because her only contributions this season were negative. Maybe if Wig was happy and nice to the other ladies she could have been asked a positive question? With that Kim's time on the show was done. Andy dropped the final mic on her career and his roast was the cherry on top of a shit-filled sundae that was Kim's Zolciak's day. 

 

For the entire reunion Kim kept trying to defend herself by playing the victim, deflecting and not owning an ounce of her bad behavior but at the end of the day what you put into life is what you get out of it and like Andy said Wig's season of negativity is the reason she got so much heat at the reunion. After only returning for a season and thinking she was better than everyone else because of her dumb spinoff show I think it is definitely safe to say that we won't be seeing her on the Housewives ever again. Karma's a bitch and she was alive and well at this reunion. Bye Wig!

 

The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sunday at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on our favourite Georgia peaches. 

 

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