I know that these ladies are known to lunch but fuck, there were about 27 lunches in this 4o minute episode. How many meals can a group of friends have in one week? It turns out, a whole fucking lot. This episode wasn't amazing but I can see that the women are getting back into the groove of things and there is some major drama building for the next episode. Let's break this mess down.
The first of the series of lunches was between Ramona, Carole and Tinsley. I was stunned to watch this scene because it showed women actually eating on TV and not giving a fuck. After watching this season of Beverly Hills, for what feels like an eternity, it feels weird watching the ladies consume food while a camera is present. They lunched while Bethenny and Dorinda also dined together, and both groups discussed the crazy Halloween party, Luann's black face disaster and Bethenny & Ramona's latest fight. Reminder: that was only the first episode. Carole of course brought up her storyline this season of running the New York City marathon and the lack of support the women in the group have given her, with Tinsley being the only Housewife going to support her at the track.
Out of the whole group Tinsley and her whining voice would definitely not be the person I would want to see after I just finished running through every borough of New York. Ramona also randomly decided that she wanted be supportive and called some guy that owns a restaurant, that she may or may not be fucking, to organise a marathon party for Carole in the Hamptons. $20 says that there is no party.
Aside from the extensive lunches in this episode, Dorinda and Sonja decided to shake it up and go on a walk. It looked like they only walked around one side of Central Park before they got sick of each other and decided to leave. Lady Morgan filled Dorinda in on her summer which involved taking a shit tonne of anti depressants, travelling the world and gaining a little muffin top. Sonja seems like she's over the drama and doesn't even want to be on the show this season. I mean how else can you explain her throwing her gay party on a Wednesday, that she claims to have done for the last twelve years. What the fuck?! Was she the original Erika Jayne? Sonja with a sexy J has been on this show since season 3 and we are only learning about her gay Wednesday parties now? Her goal was to get shit faced and pounded with them, so I hope she fulfilled both those wishes. I mean who doesn't love a good pounding?
While on her walk with Dorinda, Sonja couldn't resist to talk about Tinsley's finances and claimed that her rich coupon boyfriend was paying for her $10,000 a month hotel bill as well as the gift card she gave her at the "Thunk You" party. I don't understand Sonja. She talked shit about Tinsley being a bad house guest when she was living with her and she still talked shit about Tinsley after she moved on with her life and got her own place. I can't decide if she doesn't like Tinsley or if she just likes to talk shit. Honestly, I think there are facts to what she is saying but there is obviously also a little jealously on Sonja's end that Tinsley is in a committed relationship and she isn't. Lady Morgan is smart but she makes it so easy for the other women to fight with her when she talks shit about them all the time. But just for the record, I 100% think that Tinsley's hotel bill is being covered with the coupon money. Trust and believe.
Dorinda, who told Sonja NOT to say anything to Tinsley about the shit she talked, then went and had lunch (of course) with Mugshot Mortimer to tell her about what Sonja had said. I love Dorinda with all my heart and she is probably in my top 5 favourite Housewives, but she didn't need to carry the bone back. Naturally Tinsley got pissed with her squeaky voice which made this episode very hard to watch and hear. It's not that I don't like Tinsley and her eyebrows, but she is definitely the apple that could go rotten by the end of this season.
Speaking of Tinsley, she had dinner (that's a change) with Lu who debuted some sexy Kardashian-esque braids. She looked pretty but I don't think we ever need to see that THOT inspired hairstyle again. What is it with all these older reality stars trying to look like the Kardashians? Enough already, and I'm looking at you Dorito Kemsley and Erika Jayne! While at dinner Tinsley grilled Lu about her relationship with Carole and her reluctance to talk about Tom, which just gave me a headache, partially due to Tinsley's voice. We all know what happened with Tom, so I don't understand why Lu would need to keep talking about it over and over. It's not about Tom and I've never been happier, just because Mugshot Mortimer talked her Palm Beach drama for a WHOLE YEAR doesn't mean that Lu has to too. Luann also defended her Countess title by asking is Queen Latifah really a queen? HA! Well that's her legal name and not a title she married into, but whatever makes you sleep at night Lu.
It seemed like they ended their meal on good terms but Lu was obviously feeling some residual anger when she later shaded both Tinsley and Carole for not having 3 songs on iTunes or a Pandora station like she does. My wig just about fell off my head when Luann said that because that's probably the most on brand thing she has ever said, do you expect anything less from the Countess?
Carole also changed over the summer when she decided to grow a voice box. Carole's storyline this season is running the New York City marathon and subsequently complain about who doesn't support her marathon adventure. It is a huge achievement to run that distance and obviously it would be nice to have your friends that aren't Tinsley, there to support you, so I am regrettably #TeamCarole on that issue. Carole did end up running the marathon with Heather "Holla" Thomson and finished in 6 hours and 32 minutes. I'm not a runner but I'm also not an idiot, and that is a pretty slow time to run a marathon in considering her late husband ran it in just under 3. However how many marathon's has my lazy ass ran? None, so who the fuck am I to judge? You do YOU Miss Radziwill.
Right now the group is pretty divided with Dorinda, Carole and Tinsley on one side, Luann & Sonja on another and Bethenny being overly involved in Puerto Rico and not giving a single fuck about any of the ladies BS. While morally I'm on Dorinda's Team side, for entertainment purposes I'm with the Grey Gardens ladies because seeing them together is comedy GOLD and you know I love a hot mess!
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesday at 8/7c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the big apple ladies!