Shade of the Week: Lisa Vanderpump

March 21, 2018

Disclaimer: This shade may seem a little insensitive due to the fact that her dog died on the most recent episode of RHOBH, but I had already written the article and couldn't be bothered to change it. Sorry!

 

The idea that Lisa Vanderpump is manipulative has become as common as Botox on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but the only thing worse than being called manipulative on one of these shows, is being called boring. 

 

It’s pretty clear that this seasoned reality star has taken a major backseat for the last two seasons of RHOBH and it's so boring to watch. It's not far that she gets paid a boatload of money to appear on two Bravo shows where all she does is sit in the background, make rehearsed sex jokes and carry her dogs around. At this point LVP is just holding a spot on the show that could go to a more deserving girl who would actually work for her money instead of doing nothing. Maybe Lisa needs to be demoted to a friend of as a form of punishment for her boring behaviour. 

 

Seriously, RHOBH has just become an hour long commercial for her restaurants and new dog shelter. The days of vintage Beverly Hills beefs about calling out someone's surrogate secret and talking about your friend's marriage are gone and have been replaced with petty fights about wine glasses and time management, no one wants to watch that! 

 

If her nonexistent storyline on the show isn't enough to annoy you then her hypocritical personality should be. LVP uses the excuse of "British humour" to get away with saying shitty things about her costars but will hate someone for 5 seasons if they say one negative thing about her, it's annoying. She doesn't own any of her bad behaviour and I'm sorry, if Brandi, Kyle, Adrienne, Kim, Yolanda, Rinna, Eileen and Erika all claim that LVP is manipulative behind the scenes and fake on camera, then she probably is. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a fucking duck.

 

Her behaviour on Vanderpump Rules isn't much better. She pretends like the SURvers drama is so stupid and irrelevant but she has a mini orgasm every time they tell her about a fight they've had because she knows it will bring more ratings and money for her. She doesn't even need to be on Vanderpump Rules because it has created a life of it's own and has nothing to do with her at this point.

 

LVP and Kyle have established themselves as the matriarchs of the show and exempt themselves from any drama for the last two seasons, which gives me no idea how they can be reimmersed into the messy ways of the 90210. Brandi needs to come back and ruffle the OG's feathers because she is probably the only housewife that has the ability to turn this stale franchise on it's head. 

 

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