Up until yesterday I was freaking out because I didn't have a clue on who I could shade this week, but lucky for me Jax Taylor's asshole ways came through on Monday's Vanderpump Rules episode.
Since the debut season, Jax has shown us that he is the most convincing liar on the face of the planet. He managed to legitimately get people to believe that he didn't get a pornstar pregnant in Vegas, which he wound up admitting in the season finale. Then, when you thought he couldn't possibly out do himself, he slept with his ex girlfriends best friend who also happened to be dating his own best friend. Now that is a cracked egg. You can't fix that.
After years of cheating, drugs and lies, Brittany Cartwright arrived on the scene as Jax's new "girlfriend" even though he down played their relationship to anyone that asked. For the last two seasons I thought that Jax Taylor had maybe changed his ways but now I've lost all faith in humanity. No pun intended.
When the rumours starting swirling that this human version of a bruised apple, may have impregnated Faith in the same room as 95-year-old woman, I was a little sceptical. It was almost too good to be true, but sure enough it wasn't.
The 40-year-old bartender finally admitted to cheating on Brittany while he was wearing a (really cool) Taco Bell sweatshirt. Now that's just cruel to Brittany, because every time she drives past a delicious Taco Bell, she's just gonna think of Jax being unFAITHful. Sorry, another pun. Did he really have to sleep with a girl who's name could be made into so many puns from this issue?
As much as everybody would like to blame the cheating on Jax being horny or thinking with his dick, I think it's deeper. This man is a known sociopath which makes him way smarter than your usual asshole. Jax would have HAD to know that his creepy hookup would wind up on the show. There is no way that he could be that stupid. Maybe he was getting sick of Brittany and thought it would be easier than breaking up with her? Maybe he wanted more attention? Or maybe he just really likes fucking with this nice southern girl's emotions.
Jax also "owns" his asshole tendencies but I don't think that he truly believes that what he did was wrong. He apologises and says all the right things, but in his meat head of a brain I don't think that he believes he's at fault. He probably justified the hookup on Brittany not making him a sandwich.
I think this latest blow hurts even more because Brittany is the only person with a real, pure soul on that show. She is sweet as pie and doesn't deserve the toxic bullshit that it takes to be with Jax Taylor. This drama happened 7 months ago so watching it back on TV would have had to open all those old wounds, combined with the fan and media attention, I doubt that they could make things work.
Even if they do push through this drama and stay together, they will never get over it. Jax and Brittany can pretend that they trust and love each other, but this relationship can only go down from here. It's better that they end it now before they add marriage and kids to this mess. Brittany, in the words of Siggy Flicker, know your worth, take the dogs and get the fuck away from Jax Taylor.
I have a whole season of shady recaps ahead for Vanderpump Rules and I'm running out of names to call Jax, so could you please leave me your messiest names you can think of in the comments! Thanks Bitches!