In the history of The Real Housewives of New Jersey a therapy retreat has never gone over well. Do we need to remember Lake George or Arizona? Just like the POSCHE fashion show, there has never been a therapy retreat with a good outcome, and I don't think Siggy's retreat will be any better.
Before the girls packed their bags for the retreat, Margaret and her husband Joe went to go pick out a new wallpaper for their living room. Marge cried about her kids not talking to her because she had an affair on their dad. Hopefully we get to see her sit-down with them this season and speak her truth.
Dolores and Teresa had a sit-down at Rails which if you're a Housewives addict you'd remember thats where Jacqueline stormed out off in the season seven finale. What can I say, I have a gift for spotting places that Housewives have had fights. Teresa and Dolores have been friends for over 20 years so they talked about how they were both mad that the other one hasn't stood up for them lately. Teresa asked why Danielle would make it up and Dolores thought that she might be on drugs but Teresa was confused why she would do drugs when she does yoga. The comedy of it all. Maybe Danielle's getting a discount from her ex cartel buddies? Dolores also spilled some subtle tea that Joe Giudice may have cheated on Tre but she backtracked a little and said that she was just talking about the way that he treated her. I think Dolores knows where all the bodies are buried.
After Dolores and Teresa were somewhat back on the same page and Siggy had organised her retreat, the girls climbed into a bus headed to Sig's overnight retreat. Melissa noticed Siggy's recent Instagram post, which was the definition of extra. It was a photo of Siggy all glammed up, holding a bow and arrow with a caption that basically targeted the pigtailed new girl. Once the girls arrived at the retreat Sig greeted everybody with hugs - even Margaret. Maybe the Instagram post wasn't about her?
The Sig started her seminar with her divorce attorney friend and encouraged everyone to get naked - emotionally naked. Siggy brought up her beef with Margaret as an example and the girls assumed that she would publicly shame her Melissa style, but she surprisingly shared that Soggy Flicker affected her a lot because she was bullied as a kid for her name and she still holds onto the hurt. After the seminar Siggy, the divorce lawyer and a plastic surgeon talked to all the ladies while Siggy tried to sell her t-shirts that even included a Soggy Flicker inspired apparel. Maybe the Marge should get a cut of the proceeds, also where can I find one of this shirts? Teresa also carried the bone back to Danielle about how Dolores thinks she's on drugs. Oh god, now this is gonna be a whole big thing.
The ladies went to their rooms with Teresa, Melissa, Danielle in one room and Siggy, Dolores and Margaret in the other. Wow, the must have really moved on if they can share a room without pulling the pigtails out of each others head. After the girls settled in they headed down to dinner and everything was fine before Danielle arrived and brought up the drug allegations. Dolores couldn't have cared less about Danielle's concerns because she is crazy. Is everyone else forgetting about what went down seven years ago? Dolores seems like the only one that remembers that Danielle's elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Naturally Dolores was abrasive which allowed Danielle to play the victim.
The next morning the ladies woke up and headed down to a pit in the garden which resembled the lions in the colosseum, with this group that isn't that different. Siggy's divorce attorney friend decided to test out one of their resolution games which included picking someone who you have a problem with and then pretending to be them. HA! This is a messy idea by the producers and I don't know how this could be successful. Siggy and Margaret were the first ladies up and their beef was over the Soggy Flicker drama. Margaret impersonated Siggy on everything from crying about the cake to obsessing over her son Joshua and it left all the girls in stitches - except Siggy and Dolores. Next week the girls are still on the retreat so tune in to see if their group can be mended. be
The Real Housewives of New Jersey airs Wednesday at 9/8c on Bravo. Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on the craziest ladies in Jersey.