This episode was legendary and it created the perfect storm as the ladies took off on their trip to Mexico! I am so happy about how good Dallas has been this season.
LeeAnne Locken (I had to say her full name for dramatic effect) had her infamous boob job on this episode. I call it infamous because last week Cary claimed that LeeAnne's doctor was only a certified vagina doctor and because of the iconic moment that it created. Brandi drove LeeAnne to surgery, where both ladies talked about how Cary had scared them before their surgeries. Apparently before Brandi got her "mommy makeover" Cary had told her that someone had died on the operating table before while her doctor was in surgery. I am sorry, but who says that?? LeeAnne hates operations and was anxious about Cary's comments so naturally she was freaking out.
The girls went in to get prepped for surgery so Brandi got to see LeeAnne's nipples pointing up to the sky. After the doctors hooked LeeAnne up on the anesthesia things got crazy! When the door closed LeeAnne started talking in this deep, scary voice. LeeAnne said that Cary's husband Mark goes to "The Round-Up" to get his dick sucked and that she knows the boys that do it. I died. I literally died. This is too specific to not to be true! LeeAnne also said that she didn't grow up with knives in her hands, they're just hands and they work quite well! DAMN! LeeAnne really knows how to deliver an iconic Housewives moment! I need her to incorporate "They're Just Hands" into her next tagline! I don't understand why Brandi didn't say anything to LeeAnne while she was talking. Mmm.
I had to laugh when right after LeeAnne claimed that Mark gets his dick sucked by men, he was getting ready for his surgery to be filmed by a man named B.J. HA! Those shady Bravo editors! Maybe it's a sign!
Stephanie was dealing with her son's dyslexia which was raw and real so I hope it helps some other moms out there. I have to ask: why does Steph need a life coach? She's got a gorgeous house, two healthy kids, a hot husband. Her life seems pretty perfect, but I guess we don't know what's happening behind the scenes. Cary also quit her job to be a full time job to her daughter Zuri. I thought Cary was just going to try and dial back her hours but you do you boo! I think in a few months she'll be back working with Mark. If they're still together.
A few days later Cary and D'Andra went shooting! D'Andra was an amazing shot! I love this girl more and more each week! While the guns were going off Cary got a FaceTime from Brandi. Brandi was telling Cary that LeeAnne wouldn't stop talking about her, but weren't they both talking about Cary in the car? Why is Brandi trying to stir shit up? The red head also told her about the "they're just hands" conversation. Cary went back to the group and said well LeeAnne wants to strangle me! LeeAnne wants to kill me! Umm, excuse me because LeeAnne just talked about those hands of hers. Nothing about murder so let's take a seat Mrs Deuber. My home girl D'Andra stood up for LeeAnne and she said just pops off. I mean come on! I really don't think that any of these ladies believe that LeeAnne is really gonna hurt them.
The ladies finally went on their trip to Mexico. After all the cell phone filming on the plane, the girls landed and picked our their rooms. Naturally, Brandi & Stephanie, LeeAnne & D'Andra and Cary & Kameron all shared rooms together. Ahh, now wasn't that simpler than that RHONY mess! After the ladies settled in Brandi, Steph, Cary and Kameron all discussed the hands comment, while LeeAnne and D'Andra talked about it in their room. Mmm, I do love a good Housewives juxtaposition. Kameron was annoyed that the girls were talking trash about LeeAnne. Wow, I think this is the first time I've agreed with Kameron and not Brandi. Last I checked Brandi was friends with LeeAnne, put I guess when LeeAnne turns her back the knife goes in!
NEXT WEEK the drama goes down in Mexico and I am beyond ready for Monday night to roll around! The Real Housewives of Dallas airs Mondays at 10/9c on Bravo! Stay tuned at Good Tea for our shady recaps and exclusive tea on these lone star ladies!